Still doing fine with Z, but the smaller keyboard on the laptop is so completely different it's taking a lot of getting used to. Also, I don't like the touch pad, but then I never have liked them. Which is why I have a mouse to plug into Z when I'm at home, though when I'm out and about with him I guess I'll just deal with the touch pad. Like now at Mom's for instance. :D

DLed all my photos from my camera today (now I need to charge it) so that I can start adding things to my Esprit Studios etsy account. Then I logged in and started to do just that... only to be told by etsy that my photos are too big. ~_~; But screw it, I'll deal with resizing them when I get home and have the mouse.

Lately I've been working on things to sell at the bazaar Grandma got me a table at. Mostly jams and jellies right now, but also a few more bits of jewelery and I'm doing two Christmas ponies to take with me to sell and as examples, since it's a Christmas bazaar and all that.

Anyway, so far I've made crab apple jelly, lemon-honey jelly, strawberry-rhubarb jam, rhubarb jam, almond-brown-sugar applesauce, pumpkin sauce, and watermelon jelly. As usual I'm having trouble getting things to set, but whatever.

After the bazaar anything that hasn't sold will be going up at my House of Yum etsy account, along with various cookies and candies. Please, once I get the shop up, anyone who's had my jams/jellies/cookies/misc baking and etc. please spread the word. Between Esprit Studios and House of Yum I'm trying to get myself set up to make enough extra cash each month to keep the bills paid. It doesn't have to be much, about $200 would cover that. But any good word of mouth would be helpful and appreciated. <3

I took Loki to the vet a couple weeks ago because of his allergies again. This time he had been chewing on his feet, and itching at his chest and abdomen until all the hair was coming off, as well as scratching his face up still. -_-;

Same thing is usual, and three years of trying to find a treatment that, you know, WORKS. But this time we got to the vet and saw a new woman (Dr Wilson, I think?) and she actually suggested some things that none of the others had mentioned before even in all the times I'd had him in there (and all the money I've spent.)

She thinks there's a possibility that it could be an immune disorder rather than allergies, which would require different treatment, obviously. But while we're seeing about applying for funding to get the tests done (because I can't afford it on my own), she did suggest an allergy med that we could pick up from the pharmacy.

So we got a bottle of these pills, and he's been taking a half pill twice a day for just over two weeks now... and it's working fucking MIRACLES! His face is 90% healed up and he hasn't been itching at his chest and stomach almost at all. If this keeps up, we might have actually got it figured out finally. And the kicker is, the pills cost $10 a bottle, which covers three months worth of pills for Loki. All that money spent and I could have just gone to the pharmacy and spent $10 instead. Man.

But still, glad to see him feeling so much better. :)

Right now I'm at Mom's to do laundry and print off some things since my own printer is pretty much dead. I'm also watching my brother play Twilight Princess. Ahh, Zelda, ILU. <3

Random recent observation: Last weeks SPN episode? C-CRACKY EP WAS CRACKY. .__.;;

Oh, and before I forget. Cat McD! Were you still interested in those ponies we talked about a while back? Let me know. <3

A semi-decent update for those of you on my flist that are wondering how I'm doing aside from ZOMG eel creatures and OMG lampwork heart pendants.

Mom's surgery is coming up on the 25th, and it really kind of snuck up on me. The whole family is really stressed and worried right now, and Mom is making herself sick with being afraid that when they go in to do the hysterectomy they'll find something more than the tests have shown so far. I know we should all be trying to keep an optimistic outlook, but it's proving to be hard, especially since Grandpa just died of cancer three years ago. The whole thing is keeping me up at night a lot, and I won't feel any better about it until after the operation when the surgeon comes and tells us everything is fine.

I moved a couple weeks ago as well; to a little apartment downtown. It's not much (I'll post pictures once it's more organized), and pretty small, but it's mine, and I love that about it. Besides which, for one person (and cats/rabbits), it's a fine size. The only problem is that I have too much stuff. >>; It's been a nightmare trying to figure out how to fit everything in, and that's even after two vanloads of stuff having been taken to the goodwill.

When I first was moving in, the place was a mess. The kitchen still needs to have a really good cleaning with bleach, but other than that it's tidy enough I can put up with it until everything's unpacked and settled. The bathroom was DISGUSTING. I should have taken some photos to show you the before and after. Grandma actually came down on the day I moved, and rather than helping with the move itself, just locked herself up in the bathroom and scrubbed the shit out of it for HOURS. It's still terribly stained, but not actually dirty anymore. I don't think the previous tenants cleaned the bathroom once in the entire time they lived here. -__-;; Ugh.

Right as I'm typing this, the girly bunnies are in the kitchen having playtime. Unfortunately, until I got the kitchen organized enough that they couldn't get into things they shouldn't, they couldn't have time out to exercise-- it's been about three weeks since they were last out of their cage. I feel guilty, but there wasn't much I could do, since the kitchen is the only place here I can let them out at all. Now I can though, so we can get back into the regular routine of daily romps.

In November, I've got a table to sell things at the Christmas bazaar in Bracebridge. So I'm selling some jewelry there, as well as some jams and jellies. Grandma brought me six freaking baskets of crab apples when she came down, so I'll have TONS of crab apple jelly. (If anyone wants some, let me know and I'll set aside a jar of it for you.) It'll be the first time I've actually sold something I've cooked/baked so I'm really kind of nervous about it. Hopefully it'll go well.

Also, some time in the next couple days I'll be posting a massive sales post; due to space issues and the fact that I'm in desperate need of money, I've decided to sell off most of my extensive Sailormoon collection. I have a few really rare items, so fingers crossed. Also, if you know anyone who might like to commission a pony or something from me, please point them in my direction.



...because of everything that's been going on, I haven't been online much. Most of my time has been designated to doctor's visits and the move/unpacking. Honestly, I'm starting to get really weary of it, and I'm feeling... downtrodden. Just sad and gloomy. I miss being on AIM and talking to people, and blogging about nothing. But until the end of the month I just won't have the time.

EDIT: Maddie needs monies too, so go check out her etsy shop:



EDIT #2: I'm watching The Evil Dead II right now while I'm organizing things, and the girl's head just bit the guy on the hand, and he's flailing and screaming and smashing said severed head against walls and books and desks and whatnot, and I am LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. XDD;;;

It starts here, at about nine minutes in:



...and continues on here. xD;;

Ahh~ two more days until I can pick up the keys for my apartment! That's not a lot of time! D8

Gah, I'm completely out of boxes and still have more to pack. But on Monday like I said, I'm picking up my keys, and then on Tuesday morning Mom is dropping me off before she goes to work. I am taking cleaning supplies just in case, and will spend at least until noon there because the Rogers guy is coming to install the Internet between 8am and 11am.

When I moved out to room with Sarah, I didn't get the 'Net installed for a few days after I moved because I didn't schedule it until after I'd moved in. I went NUTS without Internet access for that amount of time, so this time I made sure to schedule ahead of time. XD; IDK I WIN?

...whoa, the sleeping pills just hit me WHAM right this second. @_@;;

Moving is expensive. -_-; I'm more than broke; Sarah even gave me $100 (tldr; she got a bunch of money from ODSP because they were underpaying her, and wanted to share the wealth, so she gave $100 to everyone in the family) and I still have no cash. She gave it to me today when we picked her up for groceries, and I spent it all, and all but $10 on things related to moving/stocking up the kitchen/cleaning supplies/etc. I did buy myself a plant (twisty bamboo!) and one pack of beads.

But once I'm settled and have all the basics in the house it should settle down. *fingers crossed*

LMAO had a massive The X-Files marathon yesterday and last night. XD; Almost all of the fourth season. I skipped a couple eps that I found boring originally, but I watched most of them. ♥♥♥

EDIT: OH, and I got some stuff for packages for Steph and Mari today. Kraft Dinner comes in different flavours now. ._.;

FUCKING GODDAMN CANADIAN DOLLAR.

I just got my money exchanged to US dollars for my trip, and apparently since I did my expense tallies the Canadian dollar has fucking tanked, and now I'm like $250 short of what I need. I have no fucking clue where I'm going to get the money.

Fuck. Excuse me while I go curl up in bed and cry for a while.

Apparently, I suck at keeping my journal updated lately. I used to be so good about it too. But I don't know... I've been really down lately, and not feeling up to doing anything. I haven't been on aim much either and I've just been rping a little with one or two people. I'm considering going on partial hiatus at TV until I get myself straightened out again.

Not much had been going on lately. I've been working on stuff to sell at AN, and fretting over whether I'll have enough money to go to Otakon this year or not. I'm really hoping I will, but with not being able to sell my ponies at the table it might not happen... but, I'm currently finnegling with my finances to see just how much I need to sell to be able to go to Baltimore (and then to VA and then to Dayton) so fingers crossed.

I am currently watching Eden Log, which is going so far over my head it might as well be a jumbo jet. XD; I'm going to have to watch it again and try to figure it out lol.

A few days ago I dislocated one of my toes. I slammed it into the stairs by accident. At least it popped back in on its own. Still hurt like a bitch though. BEHOLD I AM THE MASTER OF PERSONAL INJURY. Also, of not going to the hospital for dislocated joints because they happen all the fucking time wtf body.

RP talk, so if you don't care don't bother reading past here. More actual life-updates later on once I've thought about what I want to say.

We have a new Axel at TV, and I've gotten sucked into the AkuRoku trap. XD; I promised myself I wouldn't, not because I don't ship them together, but because it's pretty overdone at this point. Ah well. They're cute together, and Roxas is totally the man of the relationship which makes me laugh constantly. Also, tonight he got into an argument with Kanda, and the two of them spammed Axel's journal with it. lmao.

House is being his antisocial self, though he does get along rather well with Ziva (I totally ship them now, w2g TV you've ruined my in-series ships), and he's agreed to tutor Lenalee in math so long as he can call on a favor from her at some point in the future. He may get her to do something cruel to Remus, as he's still holding a grudge against him from way back when puppy!Remus chewed his cane up.

Dean is currently being crabby over the new event (school, yay?), and refuses to go, so he and Faith are going to hide out in the room with booze and porn and probably trade Hunter/Slayer stories. Faith demanded he share his porn and Dean was like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?" I still wish I had a Sam at TV though, Dean secretly worries about him.

Aaaaand Michi and I are doing a RikuRoku rp right now that takes place in the zombie!verse from the apocalypse!KH fic I'm in the process of tinkering with. XD; I get to play snarky/bitchy!Roxas, and that makes me utterly happy because he's too nice most of the time in TV (and he was the same way at RY, except with Axel lol.) RPing in it is really helping me flesh out the zombie!verse, so to speak, so I'm happy with it. :3

Today was a really, really long day. With a ton and a half of driving. Plus, I was up super early this morning. ><;

Mom and I went up to Grandma's first thing this morning to take her to some apointments and to do some grocery shopping. We also brought her some cookies and stuff. She's doing much better right now than she was this time last month. She's feeling well enough that she's joking around some again, instead of being constantly subdued and depressed. It's a relief because I was really worried about her. Still am, but at least I know she's on the road to recovery.

After we were done doing everything with Grandma, Mom and I came home. The roads today weren't super great because of the snow and everything. There were quite a few cars in the ditches on the way up there and back as well.

Anyway, about an hour after we got home we had to go out again to go to the dentist, as I had an appointment at 3:30 and then she had one at 4:15, so we were there for over an hour and a half in total. Pretty boring, really. I had a cavity filled, so now my jaw hurts. -__-;

Once we were finished at the dentist we went to the health food place to buy fake peanut butter for me to bake with (as actual peanut butter, you know, KILLS ME), and then to the bulk food store for a whole bunch of misc. baking supplies, as well as rabbit food. Tonight I'm not doing any baking (screw it, I'm tired and need a break XD;) but tomorrow I'll start up again with the next three batches of lemon cheesecake cookies, and the (faux) peanut butter danties, and possibly the coconut macaroons.

Then on top of all that, I made soup for dinner. But that wasn't hard because I just made minestrone. XD; It mostly comes from cans (kidney beans, lentils, tomatoes, etc.) and only takes about 20 minutes to put together and cook, lol. We also had garlic bread. :3

Oh! And today I got a package in the mail, with some DVDs I bought for my brother and Mom for Christmas, as well as season 4 of House and the first two seasons of Dexter that I nabbed when Columbia House had them on sale for like $17 each. There's still one Columbia House package to go with the stuff that Mom ordered through my account, and three things I got off ebay (a video game for my brother, two bobbleheads for my Dad, and my Haruhi figure.)

I also need money for buying the last of what I want to pick up for Mom, and for Dad, and for shipping freaking packages, but I have NONE DAMMIT. NONE. I'm so pissed off, all my packages are going to be late, and so is most of Dad's present, and probably half of Mom's as well, and I can't do anything about it until my freaking credit card comes in. ><;;

So if you're getting a package from me for Christmas, I'm really sorry but it's going to be late. D:

12 dozen peppermint snowballs
5 dozen lemon cheesecake cookies <-- First year making them. BEST COOKIES EVAR. *DROOL*
7 dozen apple jack cookies
6 dozen maple shortbread cookies

I HAD A VERY PRODUCTIVE NIGHT.

Finished earlier:

40 dozen shortbread cookies
10 dozen eggnog cookies

Still to go:

4 dozen shortbread cookies
6 dozen lemon cheesecake cookies
3 dozen peppermint snowballs
3 dozen eggnog cookies
4 dozen chocolate macaroons
2 dozen buttertart squares
3 dozen lemon squares
2 broken glass tortes
2 last-minute fruitcakes
1 dozen faux-peanut-butter dainties

Christmas cookies for people... are going to be late. DX I can't mail most of them out until after my new credit card comes in. SORRY! SORRY! TT__TT

Oh, but on the plus side money-wise, I just had a girl contact me about $150 worth of pony commissions. :D FFVII ponies, too! X3 SO MUCH FUN WILL BE HAD WITH THEM OMG.

That aside, I spent a good three hours this morning while I was still baking comment-rping with Michi. Three different characters in five different threads. XD; I need to transcribe the one Roxas and Axel one, at least, and probably a couple of the others as well. The epic Rokachu and Axsol convo. xD;;

( Cut For TMI )

On a non-TMI topic, I'm moving in a month or two. Possibly the end of November, possibly closer to the end of December, depending on how things go with the sewer lines being fixed. Basically, if they don't have them fixed by the end of this month, Sarah is moving come the end of November, so I have to leave then as well. If they do get them fixed by the end of this month, she won't be moving for a couple extra months, so my original December timeline still works.

Unfortunately, I have nowhere to go but back to Mom and Lee's place. Mom keeps assuring me it's fine, and that's what parents are for, but fuck do I feel guilty about it. I would still be paying rent (they said $240/month but I'm insisting on at least what I pay here, which is $355) and helping out with hydro/etc. and paying for my own Internet and everything, but still. They're just now finally getting my brother out of the house, and I know it'd be nice for them to have some time to themselves.

I know, I know... Mom doesn't want me on the street or anything, and she'd rather I was there because she's worried about me. But still. I feel like such an inconvenience and a burden. Though I suppose between paying for myself and helping out with cooking/cleaning/etc. I can at least try to make up for it...

All of this is only possible because it turns out that if I move back in with them, ODSP won't cut me off, as long as they're charging me rent/utilities/etc. I suppose I would have felt even worse if I'd just moved back in and had to bum off them, so that's something. I need to discuss everything with Mom some more and work out how it's all going to happen, and try to figure out where I'm going to store the furniture and etc. that won't fit when I go back. I guess I'm having a yard sale soon. Which would be less of a pain if it wasn't getting really cold here already.

So... I get to start packing ASAP, and moving things over there a few boxes at a time to cut down on what has to go all at once when I do move. I hate packing. I hate moving. I hate having to go back and burden Mom again. But I hate this place more. Not to mention the lack of affordable housing around here. It's the only thing I can do.

UGH.

In somewhat related news, I need money. Desperately. To help with the move and everything. I guess a garage sale might help a bit, but no guarantees. I'll probably post a list of stuff I'm willing to part with as I pack things up and go through them. Please consider buying something when I do! Or, if you're interested, I'm still taking pony commissions. Just email me or drop a comment and we can talk about it.

[Pronnie: Asch!pony is... not done. I failed at your birthday deadline. :D; Sorry! Still working on him though! I'll bug you for your address when I get him finished. For now he's sitting on my coffee table giving me "wtf woman, why am I still bald?!" looks. ♥ Screw you Asch!pony, your hair is hard to sculpt! >|]

Oh, and on a not even remotely related topic, been downloading more stuff. An episode of Bones that I missed (I still need this week's Criminal Minds too), as well as a bunch of Jurassic Fight Club episodes (ilu firebird_88 for turning me on to that ♥♥), a couple of shark documentaries like Sharkwater, and a ton of movies; Wild Hogs, Day of the Dead, Enchanted, Deep Rising, Shark Swarm, Superhero Movie, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Batman: Gotham Knight, Mama-Mia (yes, Pronnie, I will watch it I swear), My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Anaconda III, The Mummy Tomb: Curse of the Dragon Emperor, The Strangers, Epic Movie and Alone In The Dark II. >3

I've watched a few of them, and I'll probably talk about them tomorrow or the next day when I'm feeling better. FOR NOW RECCOMMEND SOME GOOD MOVIES (OR TV SHOWS) TO ME. I HAVE TONS OF DOWNLOAD MB LEFT.

( EDIT: RP stuff no one wants to read. )

...and now I'm off to curl up in whimpering, shaking ball on the bed and pass out from the pain.

Have a random Tetsuya icon.

gnaugiklnmgifljhghd;kl

At some point last night, every one of the rabbits started molting. EVERY ONE OF THEM. Including Phoenix, who molted all summer! I thought she was done! Why now of all times? Why not in June like normal animals? xD;;

Phantom's litter training began (again) today after I cleaned out her cage. I didn't refill the bedding, I left the floor empty, so the only place with bedding (Yesterday's News) is in the litter box. Then I have her a towel to play with/lie on.

This is how I litter trained Pagan a while back, and it worked really well. I'm hoping I can make some headway with her. She's so stubborn. lol.

Right now I'm going through my things trying to find stuff to sell so that I can buy my dollfies. Two of them anyway. There are like ten that I want. >>;

I'm selling my Gundam figures, which hurts me deeply, but at the same time I have nowhere to display them; right now they're just gathering dust and taking up a lot of storage space. I should have taken a pic of my Gundam Wall Of DHOOM when it was up at Mom's place before I moved out.

I think I'm going to sell some of my Sailor Moon collection, too... maybe. I've been collecting for ten years, I don't know if I'll be able to part with any of it. Eheh. XD;

( Photoblogging, Day 66 )

Hah, I finally got an address confirmation from the girl who ordered Axel!pony, so he's heading off tomorrow. Yey for the post office.

And while I'm out I need to get some new black paint... like, a different shade of black. .__. Or I'll just have to mix, which I hate to do, just in case I need to touch up later and can't get the same shade. Anyway, guess we'll see.

Also, payment went through for two more custom orders ($65), and someone over at DevART wants to buy my Moogle pony and commission another one in a different colour scheme, which is another $35 (less because they're made from McD ponies not full-sized ones). HAHA, another $100!

I was hoping to add it to my dollfie fund, but I dunno. It'll depend on how the rest of the month goes, considering how little cash I have right now...

I'm also considering whether or not to put my Alien pony and Grissom up on ebay. I want to just out of curiosity to see what I can get for them, but at the same time, the Alien one has some issues with it's tail, and Grissom took so long to finish... ^_^;

Maybe I'll just sell some of my SM collection instead. I've only been hoarding it for eleven years. xD;;

Hmm. Today has been really, really busy, and I'm tired, especially since I didn't sleep last night. >>;

Mom came to pick me up at 8:30-ish (maybe closer to 9? I was on the porch waiting and didn't have my watch with me), and we drove out to Highland Farms to pick strawberries. Yey. We were supposed to go last Saturday, but when we got there they were out of berries. ;-;

This week they had them again, but they were all very small, so it took a lot to fill the baskets and stuff. I had to quit before Mom because my knees and my back totally gave out on me, and now I'm limping and my back is just killing me (not to mention my hands are stained red and smell like berries from cleaning them all)-- but I gots strawberries out of it, so I don't mind too-too much. =D

After that, on the way home, we stopped at the mall to buy freezer bags (for storing said berries), and I got teriyaki and gyouza from Yamato to bring home and eat over the next 3-4 days.

Later in the afternoon, after like three hours of cleaning berries, we went out to Walmart so I could get cat/rabbit litter. Mom needed some stuff for the dog there, too, and I needed packing tape for mailing ponies/P.O.S. boxes and allergy pills. And... why is it that Walmart always puts their anime out on sale when I don't have any money? ;_____; They had all kinds of FMA, Moon Phase, Trinity Blood and Baslisk, and about six other series~~

I H8 U Walmart! >( lol.

Oh well. Then back to Mom's place for laundry, and after that we went out for groceries. At the grocery store we ran into C.A.! ♥ ♥ ♥ I don't get to see her often, but she's one of my best friends! (C.A. is one of maybe 6 people in the world who get hugs from me, even though I have this thing about my personal space.) So I did my shopping with her, and we talked for a few minutes.

C.A. is going to Japan in September. Without me. Maybe I don't love her so much after all. TT~~~~TT She says she'll bring me tons of stuff back! I'm supposed to make a list of what I want! OMG where to begin?? X3

I'm supposed to call her later~ <3

And now, between bills, and pet stuff, and misc. stuff, and groceries... I got my money for July today, and I'm already down to $50. (My whole splurge for this month was food from Yamato, a set of plastic keys for the buns to play with, a pony from Walmart, and business card paper to print my own cards on... about $20 in total.)

I hate months like this. =____=;; Hopefully I can sell some more ponies or something, because I don't want to have to dip into the Rie/Nara fund...

Anyone want to buy a pony? I do any character! I'll do dragons! I'll do whatever! ;.;

Ryuu-chan is back from China~ I just got an email from her, so yey. She'd gone for a couple of weeks as part of one of her courses in university, and apparently had a pretty good time... but she was saying wow about how different the cultures were. I could have told her that, lol.

I'll have to have her come over to show me pictures and stuff some time soon...

Speaking of travelling... ehh, I'm supposed to go with Grandma and Jess (my second-cousin-once-removed or something like that) out East at the end of this month (the last week of June and first week of July), but honestly... I can't afford it.

I don't know what to do. Grandma's really looking forward to the trip, and has been planning on me going with her since January, and so was I-- but when I went out East last time, it cost me almost $1,000 (back in 2004), and I don't have that kind of money; and it'll cost more this time because we'll be staying in hotels instead of camping out everywhere. And gas is more expensive now. Though we won't be feeding Dake-kun, which will cut the food bill down significantly. >>;

I dunno... I've only got about $300 saved, which was in the getting-Pagan-neutered/buying-Rie fund... especially since none of the ponies I put on ebay sold. That would've been another $400-ish dollars. And I really do want to go, I've been looking forward to it for months. But I mean...

Ugh.

I guess I just need to give her a call and talk with her a bit, and we'll see...

Right... today has been tiring. -.-;

We went to do groceries, but I haven't had money to buy anything the last three weeks, so I had about five gagillion stops to make. At least my tax money came in, so I could pick up some stuff that I haven't been able to, like spaghetti sauce and things like that.

My big splurge with my tax money was another rabbit harness/leash at the pet place for like $9, so now I have three; I can take Pagan, Phoenix and Pan out at the same time. Phantom refuses to wear one (she absolutely freaks out if I try putting one on her, and doesn't get along with the others anyway), so she can't go for walks, but the others like it. I also tried putting one on Pagan, and he just looked at me like "...what are you doing?" and then went about his business, so he'll probably be fine with it as well. :)

I might try taking Pauper and Phoenix out for the first time this spring tomorrow, if it's warm enough. <3

Anyway...

So I've been really down lately... even more so than usual. And I've had a couple of people asking about it, so maybe... I should just explain so that everyone understands, and hopefully doesn't worry so much.

( I've always... )

I made it to Mom's today! ...and now I'm done everything I came to do, and have nothing else to occupy my time from now until when Mom gets home in about five and a half hours. XDD;;

BOREDOM KILLS PEOPLE. BOREDOM KILLS.

I'm tired, though. I didn't get much sleep last night. So I might crash on the couch for a bit. But first I'm gonna get something to eat. I should have brought some ponies to work on, but I didn't anticipate finishing everything so rediculously quickly. .__.

Also, I spent my last $2.50 on bus fare to get here, so I'm officially broke from now until the end of the month (or when my tax money comes in, which ever comes first). Yep.

AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! ><;;

I'm baking again. But I'm out of milk, and baking soda, and baking powder, so I can't make the banana loaf and the rice pudding I was going to, and it's frustrating, dammit! GAH! I could make morning glory muffins, but I don't have carrots either~~~

*WEEPS and FLAILS*

TT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TT

If I had money I could go down to the 24-hour A&P downtown, but I'm broke still... -___-;;

Man, I did the stupidest thing today. -__-;

I deposited $40 into the bank, since I'm in the red again this month and needed to bring my balance above the negatives... but I only imputted $20, so that's all that was credited to my account.

DAMMIT SENA~! ><;;

So tomorrow I have to call the bank and explain things to them and see what I can do.

In a completely unrelated topic, I'm letting Pagan and Pan have run of the apartment for the first time right now; Pan is hopping herself around like no tomorrow (and spending a lot of time by Phantom's pen, so Phantom's freaking out), but Pagan has yet to leave the safety of their cage. Poor little guy. I think he's scared of the cats.

Which is stupid, since they're all afraid of the rabbits. >>;;

( Stuff no one wants to read but I need to rant about. )

Right. Moving on!

All that aside, I need money. ;_____;

I need money so badly I think I'm gonna have to sell some of my collection(s). Right now I'm looking at my set of MIB Gundam Wing mech figures (about 20 in all, I believe), and wishing to hell I didn't have to consider putting them up on ebay. >>;

And I don't know... I might have to put some of my Sailormoon stuff up, as well.

I think I have one or two doujinshi I might be willing to part with too...

Le sigh. Life sucks ass. -____-;

( EDIT )

1) Screw you, Grey's Anatomy. This episode is kicking my ass in a serious way... mostly because they're doing surgery on George's father to remove cancer, and found out it had spread all over the damn place. It reminds me of Grandpa, and now my throat hurts and I'm going to cry.

2) Lately I've been thinking about my life... or my lack-of-life. It's going nowhere. I have nothing, really. And if I'm perfectly honest with myself, I'm not really very happy. I like to pretend, to put on a cheerful face so that no one worries about me, and sometimes I can even trick myself into thinking that I'm not doing all that badly, but I really am.

It's hard to explain, and I can't really wrap my head around it properly to find the words. I guess the bottom line is that I'm still depressed, despite all the medications the doctor has me on, and I've still got so many other health problems that aren't even close to being resolved... fuck. It's stupid, and frustrating, and I just want to go to sleep and wake up as a completely different person.

Anyone want to trade me immune systems? Brains? Free bi-polar disorder to anyone who wants it! Or you know, I could use a million dollars. For school, and traveling, and living somewhere that isn't almost literally fucking killing me with bird feathers in the bloody floor. So if someone has an extra million just kicking around, they could send it in my direction.

Yeah...

Sorry. Just me feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Ignore me. =__=;;

I must work on ponies!

My Halloween pony needs to be finished by the 31st, and I need to finish ponies to send to people for Christmas~

Plus my Ouran ones, because I could probably sell them for decent money. >>

YES I NEED MONEY.

But then I'll finish them and be so attached to them I won't want to sell them. Just like always. ^_^;;

I feel stupid, following the last post with one like this... but yeah. Here it is.

pixisity (who is originally from Canada, but doesn't live here anymore) really liked Patriot Love when I posted pics of her, and wanted one mostly like her, but with a few little differences. So I made her, and named her "Homeland". :)

( Homeland )

Homeland was made pretty much the same way as Patriot was, and with pretty much the same materials (she was even made of a G3 Bowtie, too.) Her hair is in stripes of Caddy Red and Platinum White katsilk, from restoredoll.com (as usual). Her symbol is done with a red sharpie marker, and her hoof heart was replaced with a red gem. I gave her a white bow in her tail, and a red one around her neck.

I also decided not to recolor her eyes, and left them the original blue and purple (okay, I colored the little pink hearts red, but whatever), because with the white added in her hair, the blue/purple looks really pretty. =3 But I'll change it if pixisity wants me to, of course.

Anyhoo.

Mom, Lee and I went out and picked strawberries this morning. Yeah, yesterday I found out my Grandpa is dying, and today I'm picking freaking berries. I hate myself. -_-;;

But we did that, and then went back to their place and cleaned/washed/packaged them for the freezer. I did laundry. We went to Walmart and picked up the shelves I put on layaway a week-ish ago.

When I got home, I found a problem with the rabbits... Phoenix seems to be in a false pregnancy. WTF, world? Screw you, too. She and Pauper are at the age where they need to be spayed, and I'd planned on getting it done soon, but this is pushing me to get it done ASAP, and I can't afford it right at this very moment.

I need to sell some stuff.

Anybody want to commission a pony or something?